Clueless
by xXSpicedXx
Summary: An old prototype medabot with an attitude problem and a complete and utter idiot who's afraid of his toaster. Will they make a good team? Will chaos ensue? I dunno...MetabeeXBrass IkkiXErika & mostly one-sided SumilidonX?
1. Meet the idiot

BOO! This be my first Medabots fic, yarr – please don't be too harsh ;. Do I own Medabots? no. ::weeps:: I do own Ishiteki Yurai though.  
  
Just so you know, the gang are all 15 now. Why? I dunno…or…something.  
  
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO oOoOoOoOoOo  
  
"Hey, baka! Pass it over here!"  
  
The so-called 'baka' picked up the ball and kicked it as hard as he could. It sailed through the air – and right past its target, crashing through a window on the second storey of a huge old building, obviously derelict.  
  
"Nice move, baka"  
  
"I told you not to call me that!"  
  
"But you're an IDIOT."  
  
"AM NOT!"  
  
"Then how do you explain that?" he looked up at the shattered window, illustrating his point.  
  
"Well…I…uhh…It was an easy enough mistake to make!"  
  
"YOU'VE SPENT YOUR ENTIRE LIFE MAKING MISTAKES!"  
  
"Tsch, so what?!"  
  
His friend looked at him flatly "Whatever. As long you're the one that gets the ball"  
  
"WHA?! WHY ME?!"  
  
"'Cause you're the one that threw it, dumbass"  
  
"Oh…ehh…right" He started to make his way up the ivy that seemed to have so conveniently grown up the side of the house, swinging in through the window and scraping his butt on the shards of glass. "Oww…"  
  
He looked out of the window, waving at his friend down below "I'M OKAY HENRY!" He grinned stupidly, pushing a slightly oversized pair of goggles back into place, just above his hairline.  
  
"I'm so happy for you."  
  
"Really?!"  
  
"Sarcasm…doesn't that word ring any bells with you?"  
  
"Yes…wait…no…wait…why would I be ringing bells, anyway?  
  
Henry slapped his forehead, sweatdropping. "Look, could you just hurry up already. This is my only day off for the rest of the month – my boss at the Hop Mart is making me work overtime. God, I hate that guy, he's just so…so…I dunno. He seems to think he can just- wait…are you even listening to me?!"  
  
Ishiteki Yurai, or 'baka (idiot)', as he was usually referred to, had been friends with Henry for as long as he could remember. It all really began when Ishiteki was two years old, and Henry was ten. Henry's mother forced him into babysitting him – he resented the job at first, especially since Ishiteki, being the idiot he was (and still is), would poke forks into sockets, eat his marbles etc., be ranted at by Henry, and then do it even more. Nothing had really ever changed. Henry may treat him like an idiot (which he is), but they really are good friends. Ishiteki is now 15, Henry being 23, respectively. The age gap may be wide, but in the words of the baka himself 'Who cares about age, as long as you can play a good game of football?!' (soccer to you American peeps…and anybody else who wants to call it that ;)  
  
Ishiteki had already ventured deeper inside the room in search of the ball he had manage to lose for about the twentieth time that week.  
  
"Baka?!"  
  
"HEY!"  
  
"Oh, that you heard…"  
  
"What? Did you say something Henry?"  
  
He groaned "Just get on with it! See anything yet? It was your grandpa's house, you should know it well enough"  
  
"Don't remind me of him…he creeps me out…wait a sec…I'VE GOT IT!" he picked up the ball, waving it in the air triumphantly. "I'll be down in a minu-AARGH!" he tripped on one of his ever-loose shoelaces, stumbling into a table covered in dusty screwdrivers, electronic parts and the like. Upon knocking this over, he fell back onto a door, knocking it open.  
  
The door turned out to lead to a storage cupboard. Not that it mattered right now, since he was covered in spare parts, metal, wiring, and one especially heavy thing that seemed to be made up of all three. And that was when it finally hit home in his more-than-a-little-slow mind…  
  
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So…there it is…first chapter. R&R? I dunno… ::explodes::


	2. First encounters

I still don't own Medabots ::drowns in a river of tears::  
  
ISHITEKI IS MINE!  
  
An idiot? Yes. Yes I am.  
  
%bla bla bla cheese tastes bad when it goes off bla% = thoughts  
  
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LAST TIME: 'And that was when it finally hit home in his more-than-a-little-slow mind…'  
  
AND NOW!!! ::cough:: yeah:  
  
…this was his grandfather's lab! The one he would lock himself away into for months at a time, immersed in his old little world. He had never let anyone see inside it – even the day before he died, he had a double reinforced steel door with 53 separate locks fitted. It was as if he couldn't bear for anything to get in – or out…  
  
He had worked on the initial designs of what were to become the modern Medabots that everybody but his grandson seemed to have. Well, there was Henry, but he was just…well…Henry. Strangely enough, Ishiteki had no desire whatsoever for a Medabot of his own.  
  
oO::FLASHBACK::Oo  
  
"Please…can y-you promise me one…" he paused to take a frail breath "…one thing…?"  
  
"W…what?"  
  
Ishiteki sat by the bedside of his grandfather. At only seven years old, he had to watch him draw his last breath.  
  
"You have to promise me first…"  
  
"Okay. I promise..."  
  
"You must promise me…promise me that you will never become a medafighter. Don't even get close to one of those abominations, so-called Medabots."  
  
"B-but…"  
  
He looked the young boy in the eyes "Ishiteki, listen to me. My entire life has been consumed by those things. I pity myself for helping in the creation of these foul metal life forms. Through my entire life's work, the only thing I have managed to create is a monster…" he handed him a small gold hexagon, engraved with a howling wolf, a glittering gem resting in it's eye. "Keep it safe…nobody must ever hear or see of it! It is a danger…please-" he was cut short, breath catching in his throat, eyes widening. He looked skywards, unseeing, and finally departed, his last unfinished words hanging in the stale air.  
  
oO::END FLASHBACK::Oo  
  
He brushed the thick of the junk off, and tried to get up, but found his legs trapped under something. He tried to wriggle free, but to no avail. Looking down, he couldn't really tell what was pinning him, since it was covered in an apparent mountain of scrap metal and wiring. He looked at it for a minute, puzzling over what to do next. He eventually spotted a small hexagonal opening that intrigued him for a reason utterly beyond him. Then again, most things were utterly beyond him, so no surprises there. He stared at it for another few minutes, when a thought struck him. He fumbled around in his pocket until he found what he was looking for. He held up a small gold hexagon, allowing it to glint in the sunlight.  
  
%What if this fits into that…six sided…shape…thing? Maybe it's a key to a box full of treasure or something cool like that…wait – what was it that grandpa said about it being dangerous…I'VE GOT IT! It must be a box full of money, since money is the route of all bad stuff… or something. YEAH! And it's really heavy too…I'M GONNA BE SO RICH! Maybe it has a football in there too…%  
  
And then he did the most stupid and brilliant thing he had ever done in his life.  
  
He plunged the small gold shape into no return.  
  
He closed his eyes, humming happily. He felt around for a lid, or opening of some sort to the box, but ended up falling flat on his face.  
  
"HEY! What the hell?! Who took the box?!"  
  
He opened his eyes, only to be greeted by a pair of cold blue ones. He yelped, backing into a corner.  
  
"DON'T HURT ME!"  
  
It twitched, as if unsure of what to do next. The 'thing', of course, was a robot of some sort. Anybody's best guess would be that it was a Medabot. A very crude form of one, but still a Medabot nonetheless. With closer inspection, it had a head that closely resembled a wolf's, and a two-hinge 'tail'. The rest of it's body actually looked vaguely humanesque, being mainly made up of stainless steel and purple. It's breastplate, along with various other patch-ups on it's body, were the same cold aqua as it's eyes. On one of it's arms, a small gun seemed to have been built in, apparently more intentioned for self defence than an attack as the aggressor, although the jet black claws it possessed on each limb looked pretty formidable in themselves. If you were to go as far as giving it a gender, then it would most definitely be female – the…well…womanly shape of it's breastplate and the contours of it's body, as well as the metal 'skirt' it appeared to be wearing. Wiring hung haphazardly outside her armour, some connecting to other parts, others merely dangling. She bared a slight resemblance to the modern WLF type, but only in as much as the animal they were modelled from.  
  
She looked at Ishiteki, tilting her head slightly. It sounded as if it was trying to say something, but all that came out was a sound not dissimilar to a mix of static and fingernails scraping down a chalkboard. She ended her failed attempt at speech, and tried another tactic. Pointing her cannon at the boy, she walked slowly backwards, and towards the un-broken window on the other side of the room. Breaking the glass, she merely stepped out of it into a freefall, not even making an attempt at a decent landing.  
  
Ishiteki heard a loud crash, but still remained rooted to the spot. After about five minutes of standing in fear, he shook himself out of it, wandering over to the window the strange metal creature had made it's escape through. Looking down, it lead into a narrow little back-alley.  
  
There was no sign of her.  
  
He scratched his head "Well…that was weird. Now where did I put that ball…?"  
  
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A little longer than the first chapter, ne?  
  
I have a DeviantART account! My username is xXSpicedXx, same as on here. Pictures to this fic will be on there, so if you wanna take a look, feel free!  
  
R&R if you're feeling nice!


	3. What the?

Thank you to all who reviewed – you guys rock! I'm so happy to see people are (at least I hope) enjoying my story – the rest of this story is dedicated to you!

Now :: bla bla bla what the hell are ff.n playing at?:: thoughts - FF.N won't allow me to upload anything other than basic punctuation now. Soo...yeah.

Guess what?

I DON'T OWN MEDABOTS!

Ishiteki is MINE. ::blows a raspberry, looking around to realise that nobody's listening::

You know it.

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"Hey?! You gonna stay up there all day?! I thought you said you'd found the ball!"

The all too familiar sound of Henry's voice drifted in through the window.

"I did find it!" he shouted back, picking up the smooth leather sphere.

"Then hurry up and get down here! My boss just called – I gotta be back at the Hop Mart by five or he'll kill me! What time is it now, anyway?"

"I dunno"

"Ishiteki! This is a matter of life or DEATH! If I'm late, you can bet it's gonna be slow and painful."

"Henry. The guy's 5 foot 4…what's he gonna do? Shout at your ankles?" he looked down before adding "Whoa…I am SO the king of wit! Who da man? WHO DA MAN?!" he grinned, waving his arms around.

"YOU DON'T KNOW THE GUY! Look, isn't there a clock or something in there?!" he sounded exasperated, and muttered something that seemed to sound a lot like 'you really are the most stupid person I've ever met…'

Ishiteki glanced around the room, seeing nothing more than junk, dust and cobwebs. He stopped – something seemed to have caught his eye. This was probably more so because it was shiny than the actual fact that it was what he was looking for. He wandered over and picked it up, the 'it' being a watch. The old thing was still working too.

::Hey…maybe I could use this thing. I mean, it's not like the old guy's gonna need it where he is right now…::

Rolling up his ridiculously long sleeve, he put the watch on. Upside down of course…but he probably wouldn't notice for at least another five hours or so.

"You see anything?"

"Uhhh…no"

"Then hurry up and get out of there!"

"Okay, okay…geez." He climbed out of the window, the shards of glass yet again scraping his butt. "OW!"

"You'd think you'd have learned your lesson by now…"

"What?! What about the purple stripy cow?!"

Henry blinked "I think you need you hearing testing…"

"Okay then! Stilton cheese it is!"

"Okay…whatever you say, cheese boy…"

"CHEESE BOY?!?" he jumped down from the ivy

"Do you have selective hearing or something…? Look, we gotta go!" he grabbed Ishiteki's arm, running all the way to the Hop Mart, dragging the young teen along with him.

The two ran inside the automatic doors of the Hop Mart, panting and red-faced.

"I…I think…I think I'm gonna pass…p…pass out…" complained Ishiteki between breaths.

"Ah. Henry…you're early…?"

"H…hey there b…boss…" he panted

"That's MISTER boss to you" he narrowed his eyes at the employee "and I'm _not _going to pay you overtime for this…"

He shot a look at his boss, then turned back to Ishiteki, who was looking at his new watch with a look of somewhat displeasure.

"This thing's all broken…the numbers and stuff are all the wrong way up"

"That's because you've got it on backwards, idiot. WAIT?! YOU HAD A WATCH?!" he sighed "…never mind…it's too late now…" he sighed, pulling the watch off his wrist "…and put it on the RIGHT way this time…"

Ishiteki fiddled with the strap until it fastened.

"What time _is_ it, anyway?"

After staring at the display for a good few minutes, he finally came out with "Three minutes past sixteen o' clock!"

"Wha-oh DAMN! FOUR?! I'm an hour early!" he sighed, heading for the door "Come on, baka. We've missed at least twenty good minutes of football time…"

"And just where do you think YOU'RE going?! Hmmm?"

"Well…I was early…and…I…uhh…I just…"

"You just NOTHING!" he threw an apron at him "You get here early, you start work here early! UNDERSTOOD?"

"But…I…uhh…"

"UNDERSTOOD?!?!"

"Y…yes…"

"Good. NOW GET TO WORK!"

Henry looked at his friend "This is all _your_fault…"

"Is not!"

"You know it is!"

"IS N-ARGH!!" his eyes widened, staring at the watch "It's alive! POSSESSED!!! HELP ME HENRY!"

"Wha…?"

"THE WATCH! IT…IT'S TALKING!!"

And that was when he heard it – the monotonous metallic voice that he knew all too well; 'Legs: 90 percent damage, Right arm: 100 percent damage FUNCTION CEASED, Left arm: 50 percent damage, Head: 10 percent damage.' After this, it cut to what was apparently on-location audio, and now it was Ishiteki's turn for the Dei-Ja-Vu – once again, he heard the agonizing scream of a scrambled vocal transceiver, but this time, it didn't last for long. This strange Medabot, or whatever it was, seemed to have finally figured out its communication skills – the audio on the watch wasn't exactly what you would call top quality, but it was clear enough to hear her voice.

She laughed slowly – almost seductively. Her voice was neither soft nor harsh – it was smooth, not unlike the soft flow of a woodland brook. "Do you have any idea what you're up against?" she asked, mocking, an undertone of playfulness in her voice "…no? Then I'm afraid I'll just have to show you…"

There was a loud crash, not unlike the sound of metal on metal, and the watch informed them yet again; 'FUNCTION CEASED'

Henry looked at Ishiteki, wide-eyed "…_you_ have a Medabot?!"

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Okay…well, the next chapter happens at the same time as this one, except it's in the mystery Medabot's POV…so…uh…yeah.

Nice people read, even nicer people review - will you be even nicer than nice?


	4. Weak

GYACK! Sorry for not updating! FF.N seems to hate me for some reason, seeing as it wouldn't let me log in. Then it just randomly decided that it would, so here I am o.o

If you've lost interest by now, I really can't blame you, and I'm sorry. But hopefully FF.N will keep letting me log in, so I can keep updating – I really don't want to leave this fic just hanging unfinished.

Anyway, I own not Medabots, the Horumarin man does. However, I do own the baka and the mystery Medabot (you'll find out who she is soon enough).

My finger is broken. Oh joy.

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What is this? Why am I not offline? I heave myself up, almost backing into a wall. Why is that incompetent professor lying on the floor, and why does he look so young? I thought he'd just vowed never to activate me again…what is all this?! I point my cannon at him – it's enough to kill a human. I won't let him near me again.

I move towards the window – the room's only weakness. I know he won't come after me. I brace myself and fall backwards into the window, shattering it and tumbling downwards in a freefall. I can hear everything. The glass breaking, the wind whistling past me. A few shards rain down on me. But I don't care. I can't feel it. I can't feel anything anymore. I hit the ground hard – shockwaves pulse through my body, but still no pain. I'm numb to everything. Feelings are pointless. They are weak. That Yurai fool didn't remove emotions and the ability to feel pain from my medal. I can't allow them to come back online. I don't want to be weak anymore.

I can't stay here for long. I have to keep moving. My sensors tell me that my legs are damaged, but I don't care. I will not be weak. I force myself to get up. I can't let anyone else see me. It's only a back-alley. There's nobody here as far as I can tell, but I don't want to take any chances.

I quickly scale the wire-mesh fence facing me. My landing is smoother than the last. Lush grassland and dense forest stretches out far as my optics can see. But I feel no sense of awe or wonder. There is no emotion. Only a plain depth perception grid.

All I have to do is keep walking. Just keep walking until I have a safe place to conceal myself. Everything directly around me is silent, but there's something in the distance that I can't quite make out. I toss it through my analysis systems over and over again. A lot of my systems are still offline. Analysis is difficult when the only thing running is your basic mainframe.

Finally – a result. It's some sort of vocal pattern. Laughter perhaps. The larynx appears to be underdeveloped too…children? But why would such a great number of them be in a forest? Never mind. This is irrelevant. It looks like there's some thick undergrowth over by that clearing. I need to reboot.

This is a pretty effective cover. Nobody will find me here. I let my programming take over – I can hear the familiar commanding voice echoing through my internal speakers; 'COMPLETE SYSTEM SHUTDOWN AND REBOOT COMMENCING'. Darkness consumes me as every part of my system goes offline. Everything is fading…

My reboot seems to be virtually complete. My systems are updated and fully active…apart from one. I can't let it activate. It will make me weak, just like before. It's hardwired into my programming, just like everything else – I'm struggling to keep it offline. But I have to. I don't want to be weak anymore.

I can hear footsteps. And they're coming closer. I stay as still as I can. They can't notice me. They pass without a word. But then they stop. One of them is saying something. Its voice seems almost…metallic.

"Excuse me, Master Koji?"

"Yes Sumilidon? What is it?"

"There appears to be some sort of Medabot in that bush over there"

What?! How did he notice me?! I was perfectly hidden! No…I must stay calm. I mustn't let my emotions get the better of me. I must keep them offline. Perhaps if I just stay still they'll leave.

"Are you sure? I don't see anything"

"I am certain, Master Koji. There is a reboot frequency I am picking up"

"Then its medafighter mustn't be too far off either"

Medafighter? I've heard of those. Medabots become dependant upon them. He thinks I have one? He must be joking.

"Show yourself! I know where your Medabot is! If you don't come out, then I'll be quite happy to destroy it"

"Master Koji, its medafighter doesn't appear to be responding"

"I can see that, Sumilidon"

"Should I go and get the Medabot?"

"Yes, yes. I suppose we could both use a little robattling practice"

The footsteps are getting closer again. There's no other option than conflict. But if that is the way it must be, then so be it. A startling green optic visor stares down at me. I tilt my head slightly – I have to admit, this Medabot looks intriguing. He looks away for a moment "It seems to be a WLF type, Master Koji"

"Bring it over here then! There's plenty of room for a robattle"

The strange new Medabot nods and turns back to me. I brace myself as I wait for him to wrench me up by the neck. But he doesn't. I feel his arm slip around my waist, the other beneath my knees, as he lifts me up gently. Carrying me a few paces, he sets me down in a grassy clearing. I stumble a little, but I can manage on my feet.

"Always the gentleman Sumilidon" A boy with black shoulder-length hair chuckles "I really don't know why you bother – especially with this heap of scrap metal"

Scrap metal?! That's IT! I don't care about emotions anymore. Let the program run – he needs to get what's coming to him! And I- what the…? There's a man wearing a red bow-tie hanging from a tree. Is there a fault with my optics? Or am I just going insane.

"Then it's agreed! I, Mr Referee declare this an official submission robattle. MEDAFIGHTERS! Erm…MEDAFIGHTER! RO-BATTLE!"

The boy raises his arm, as if to speak into his watch. This just keeps getting weirder and weirder…

"Sumilidon! Attack!"

The Medabot lurches forward, gaining velocity as he rushes towards me. I stay firmly rooted to the spot – there's no point in trying to run. I turn away as he approaches, awaiting his attack. Static escapes my vocal transceiver and fades into a real scream as his claws rip through my right arm. I stagger backwards in agony, leaning against a tree for support. My systems are blaring out my status – as if it wasn't already obvious. 'RIGHT ARM: 100 DAMAGE. FUNCTION CEASED. FUNCTION CEASED. LEGS: 90 DAMAGE. CRITICAL DAMAGE.'

I can feel the oil pouring out of my arm. But I can't give up. I refuse to give up – especially after what that human said to me. He's just so full of himself..."Do you have any idea what you're up against?" I taunt, pausing to laugh. I may not be able to fight, but wordplay is the next best thing "…no? Then I'm afraid I'll just have to show you…"

"FINISH HER OFF SUMILIDON! SHADOW SWORD!"

I stumble forwards, making a feeble attempt to hold my own. The Medabot is staring straight at me – he seems almost hesitant.

"What are you waiting for?! FINISH HER OFF!"

"Yes, Master Koji"

He speeds up into a blur, and before I can move, I can feel his claws pierce my chest-plate…and come out the other side, pinning me to the tree. My optics widen as he drives them deeper. He leans in close to me, almost touching my face-plate "I'm sorry…" He trails off, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Quickly removing his claws, I slide down the side of the tree, leaving a trail of oil. The pain is unbearable – I just want it to end. Stupid emotions…I knew they would make me weak…

FUNCTION CEASED.

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Indeed. I wanted to get the heavier bits out of the way. In some respects they're quite fun to write, but in others, they're just downright depressing. Expect more comedy from now on, although there are a few more depressing moments to go yet, alas.

Why do people put R&R at the bottom of the page? I mean, what exactly IS the point of the first R in 'read' and 'review'. If it's right at the bottom of the chapter, then the chapter's probably already been read.

Waii. Probably just tradition, I suppose. So R&R for the hell of it!


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